Tomorrow is my last day of work.

Monday is my last day in Singapore.

 

For a long time there is nothing that would have made me happier than those words. And to be honest, I’m still pretty excited. I have had an interesting time in Singapore. I would not trade it for the world. I have met amazing people and done incredible things. And yet I am still happy to leave.

When I first moved to Singapore, I was a different person. I was going almost as far as humanly possible around the world to chase my dream job. I was excited about the travel opportunities just outside of Singapore but was really excited for the work that I would get to be a part of. I didn’t know a soul in Singapore. Realistically, I barely knew the first thing about Singapore. My biggest worry was finding a place to stay in a country that I had never been to before. I had never had a real job. I had never signed a housing contract. 7 months later, I am someone else.

For a long time I hated Singapore. The food made me sick. I couldn’t eat most things. But then I realized I could cook everything for myself and actually save money doing so, despite what everyone said. I found out very quickly that my job wasn’t for me even though I was very good at it. But then I was able to let go of that dream and start looking for a new one. When I arrived, the air was so thick with “the haze” from Indonesia that I often had trouble breathing. But then monsoon came and every day thunderstorms threatened to tear the sky apart in the most beautiful way. I didn’t like living alone. But then my landlord and her boyfriend started actually living in my apartment with me and I realized just how much worse that was than living alone. I was really lonely. But then I found friends. And after that I found more. And in my last few weeks I met some truly amazing people. I often wonder what my experience here would have been like if I had met them earlier rather than later.

Singapore has been a study in contradictions for me. The highs have been very high and the lows have been very low. My lifestyle here has been ridiculous. I think part of the reason I didn’t have a solid group of friends here for a long time was because I was constantly gone and traveling whenever I could be. I have tried to go to at least one country other than Singapore a month since moving here. Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong, United States, Indonesia, Thailand, Philippines, Malaysian Borneo. There are lot of memories for me in the names of those places. I loved the freedom to travel that I had in Singapore. 28 days of leave a year and so many places to visit even if you limit yourself to only an hour’s flight. I somewhat jokingly tell people that the best part about living in Singapore is how easy it is to leave it.

The public transport system here is amazing and so cheap. I have been spoiled. I live in a city where nothing is more than an hour by public transport or 20 mins by car. But sometimes I still complain about taking the train somewhere. Until Sheldon reminds me “A train in what country?” And then I remember that I somehow live in Asia. Even if it’s “just” Singapore, Asia for beginners. I feel especially privileged when I remember that for me to get from Deerfield to Boston takes something ridiculous like 19 hours even though it’s only a 2 hour car drive. I guess that’s what rural Western Massachusetts feels like.

I know that once I leave there are things that I will miss. Like the food. Or the view from the landing outside of my apartment. Or my bed (especially while I travel for the next two months). But I know that what I miss most will be my friends. The ones who came over and at the massive amounts of food that I stress cooked when I was upset. The ones who helped me have probably my best birthday ever on a “fake” beach on Sentosa. The ones who sat on my couch and watched too many movies while eating too much chocolate. The ones who took me out to sketchy dance clubs. The ones who hung out on a random bridge in Clarke Quay with me. The ones who danced with me in front of a really cool live band even though I was too shy to really dance. The ones who were crazy enough to book a room in the most iconic and expensive building in Singapore with me for a night. The ones who traveled with me, got lost with me, ate questionable food and slept in strange beds with me. Really these people are the thing that made my experience here positive. Friends from all over the world. People from an inclusive community where everyone is constantly coming and going. Where saying goodbye to a friend because they are leaving is a totally normal part of life, even if you hate doing it every time.

They are what I will miss most and what I will remember most.